This is one of those topics that nobody ever wants to truly talk about. If you were a victim of child abuse you find yourself fighting an internal struggle once the topic comes up. Should I pipe up that I was a victim of this type of abuse? Will they look at me differently if I admit that I have first hand knowledge of what child abuse is and how it effects someone?
The truth about child abuse is that it’s affects follow the child into adulthood. Sometimes you find yourself wanting to share your experience but fear the stigma that comes with it. You find yourself constantly fighting with the internal voice that tells you that somehow you are not good enough, that you are broken. Your worth is below everyone else.
I have struggled with this so much in my life. I always believed that other people naturally deserved better than me. I mean, if my own parent doesn’t value me then how could anybody else? I honestly believe, sadly, that this is probably how most abused children feel in adulthood. So, relax. The way you feel is completely normal.
First step to having a better life is to fix that voice that says you are not good enough for that promotion, you’re not pretty enough for a good man or you’re not worthy of someone loving you. The power is in you to fix that and here’s how.
SIX ways to help overcome that negative internal voice:
- Positive Self Talk – You are a beautifully and wonderfully made child of God. Take time everyday to focus on the positive things about yourself. Take the negative thoughts and turn them around. Be a critic of the critic inside your head. Here is a great article to read: 7 Steps to Positive Self Talk
- Prayer – Pray even when you don’t feel like it. You will be amazed how quickly you will start to feel better if you just take the time a few times a day to just stop and pray. I think it’s really important and helpful to pray when you first get up in the morning, before your feet hit the floor. Prayers don’t have to be a production. A lot of times my prayers sound like this, “God, I need you to be with me today. Help keep me focused and heal my heart. I am somebody because of you and nobody can take that away. Amen.”
- You Time – We all get it, life can be so demanding. Take ten minutes, you can do it, and just focus on you. Take that extra time in the shower and do a good exfoliate scrub, or read a book. Take a walk while listening & singing to your favorite music. Be a friend to yourself. First step to a “happy” life is to like yourself.
- Get Physical – You have heard this a million times before, this isn’t brand new information. Exercise is the KEY to a healthy mind. It relieves stress, improves memory, helps you sleep better and talk about a mood booster! Exercise has a positive impact on depression, anxiety, ADHD and more! Really want to dive into the benefits of exercise on mental health? Read this article: Exercise for Mental Health
- Clean – Wait, clean? Yes! Think about it, how much better do you feel after you have cleaned your house? How do you feel when someone pops over and your house is dirty? Now that we are on the same page, I am sure you understand why cleaning is such an important part of taming that negative voice in your head. Break it up into segments so it’s not the big of a deal. First thing in the morning make your bed. Maybe wash the dishes before you leave to go to work. You get the point. 5 Ways a Clean House Improves Your Thinking – Clean Home, Clear Mind
- Sleep – Oh my gosh, please sleep. Sleep is crucial to overcoming a negative internal voice, but sometimes that’s easier said then done. I struggle with this 3 to 4 a.m. wake up where I fight anxiety. “Did I pay this, did I do that, is what I said wrong?” You have to figure out what works for you to help you sleep. My secret combination is: fan, some kind of background noise, a clean & inviting bed and not allowing myself to lay down until I am actually ready to sleep. Do not treat your bed as a hang out spot to scroll Facebook, this is your place to rest.
Today is a great day to control that nasty voice in your head. Guess what? Nobody is better than you. Nobody is more special than you. It doesn’t matter what your circumstances were growing up, you’re still so valuable. Have you made mistakes in life and feel like that makes you worth less than everybody else, get over it. Today is a new day.
My best friend sums it up so well, “Today is a good day for a good day!”